33 Thoughts I Had Watching Lady Gaga’s Chromatica Ball Film

Photo: Getty Images

Little Monsters, rejoice: The Gaga Chromatica Ball concert film is finally here! Released on Max on Saturday night, the movie—directed by Kerry Asmussen and Gaga herself—comprises two hours of twisted pop greatness, filmed at the Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles during the star’s Chromatica Ball tour in 2022. “This tour went on during a time that people didn’t think that you could tour [due to the pandemic] and stadiums were packed all over the world and they were sold out, all dressed up and dancing and singing,” Lady Gaga has said. “I’m just so excited for you all to see what we made up close.”

As someone who attended one of those shows, at the MetLife Stadium in New Jersey, I was, of course, already quite familiar with the Chromatic Ball—but I couldn’t resist experiencing the performance again. After all, Gaga’s epic set truly had it all, from her biggest hits—“Bad Romance,” “Stupid Love”—to her theatrical fashions (including custom pieces from Gareth Pugh, Alexander McQueen, and Vex Latex). So, in honor of the film’s release, find my 33 thoughts on Gaga Chromatica Ball below. Put your paws up!

1. The show is starting! According to the opening credits, 52,344 Little Monsters attended this performance at the Dodger Stadium. I wonder if they were as rowdy as the people at MetLife.

2. Gaga is opening with “Bad Romance” in a custom Gareth Pugh creation that’s basically like a high-fashion cocoon. God, I love when she does weird.

3. She’s now emerging from the cocoon for “Just Dance.” Love when an artist opens a concert with their older hits. Nostalgia, baby! She keeps telling the crowd to “put their fucking hands up!” I remember dutifully obeying her orders in the crowd.

4. Her vocals are vocal-ing. These days, it’s honestly rare for pop stars to sound better live than they do on the record. No lip-synching here!

5. On to “Poker Face.” Let’s take a moment for her backup dancers and choreography. Her dancers are not missing a beat. I love how fast and synchronized the movements are. You almost don’t even notice them—which means they’re killing it, obviously.

6. Now we’re transitioning into “Act I.” This is where Gaga starts singing some of her Chromatica hits. This album is easily in my top five of all time; it got me through the pandemic in 2020, when there were no dance clubs to go to. Thanks to this album, the living room became my club.

7. Gaga is singing “Alice” while perched on a concrete slab, wearing a custom red look by Tops Studio. Very futuristic, very avant-garde, very Gaga.

8. It’s time for “Replay”—my favorite song of the album! She sheds her red cape to reveal a bloodied latex bodysuit from Vex and Yummy Gummy Latex. Such a gag-worthy reveal.

9. Again, Gaga demands, “Put your fucking hands up!” I am from my living room.

10. I’m shook whenever the cameras pan to the audience. She is part of an elite few performers who can draw a crowd like this.

11. On to Act II. The interlude videos, from her longtime collaborator Nick Knight, are art. I love that no details were overlooked in this show. Everything is cohesive.

12. She’s performing “911” in a black sharp-shouldered latex top from Sinrgy. I love that she kept the opening transition from “Chromatica II” into “911”—one of the best parts of the album, duh.

13. “Pop a 911 and then pop another one.” Ugh, such a good line. Also, the music video for this song is so good—please do yourself a favor and watch it.

Photo: Getty Images

14. Imagine if she had brought out Blackpink to perform their song “Sour Candy” together? I would have passed out. It’s interesting that Gaga didn’t bring out any special guests for this tour. Then again, does she need to?

15. She’s now performing “Telephone.” Gaga was recently asked if she would ever team up with Beyoncé for a part two to the smash hit. She replied, “Whenever Beyoncé calls, I’d like to pick up the phone.” Such a tease.

16. I’m obsessed with her lead pianist, Brockett Parsons—specifically, the circular piano that he is playing. In the world of Gaga, nothing can be normal.

17. On to Act III. Gaga and her dancers are all coming out in gold for “Babylon.” Her gold suit is by Alexander McQueen. This song is so camp. She’s telling us to dance through our pain. “You better werk tonight, L.A.” Roger that!

18. I could listen to a whole remix track of Gaga just saying, “That’s gossip.” I find myself using it in everyday sentences. Am I late on filing this story? “That’s gossip.”

19. Gaga has now put on a gold cape by Topo Studio, and a gold Philip Treacy headpiece in the shape of a lobster claw. I wonder what the wardrobe budget was for this performance. More than my net worth, that’s for sure.

20. She’s now singing “Born This Way” on the piano, and saying it’s time to “celebrate your pride.” I remember getting super emotional when I heard this live. Gaga has done so much for the LGBTQ+ community and she always creates a safe space at her shows. “You’re perfect with a capital P.” No, you are.

21. Oh, shit, she’s now picking up the pace and doing full dance choreo. Huge flames are bursting out from the stage. I remember my spot at the concert being so close to said flames, and worrying that, like, my eyebrows would burn off. They were hot!

22. We’re on to Act IV, and this is the more slowed-down, piano-focused portion of the evening. Gaga’s voice is unreal, and I love that she created a moment in the show to strip things down and spotlight it.

23. Her Dead Lotus Couture bodysuit and alien-like headpiece are just so good. She’s singing “Shallow” from A Star Is Born. Everyone has their iPhone flashlights up.

24. “I’M OFF THE DEEP END, WATCH AS I DIVE IN.” I practically lost my voice screaming these lyrics at the concert.

Photo: Getty Images

25. Gaga’s taking a moment to talk about getting through the pandemic together. “The whole world did not fade; we’re all still here.” I can’t stress enough how much her album—and music in general—uplifted people back in 2020. That’s the power of art, baby.

26. One thing I love about Gaga is she’s always going to make a political statement, too. “Just while I’m here,” she says after singing “The Edge of Glory,” “I hope we can all agree that everybody in this nation deserves the right to make choices about their own bodies.” Amen to that.

27. Gaga’s dancing and skipping her way off the stage to “Enigma.” This song doesn’t get enough credit. One of my favorites off Chromatica.

28. Time for the finale act! I’m sad it’s almost over. She’s back in a custom Alexander McQueen biker look with crystals all over it to sing “Stupid Love.” The choreo in this performance is so heavy; I would be out of breath by the first chorus. And yet, the vocals are still on point. I wonder how one trains for this. Singing on the treadmill? Singing while doing jumping jacks? I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

29. The big, dramatic flames are back. I wonder if anyone lost their eyebrows that night. Like, truly.

30. I’m sad Ariana Grande didn’t come out for “Rain On Me.” That would have broken the internet. At least we got that one live VMAs performance from them.

31. She ends the show with “Hold My Hand,” her song from Top Gun: Maverick. It’s definitely an epic, belt-your-heart-out song to cap things off with.

32. The last shot in the film we see is Gaga doing a quick dance break with what appears to be a sample of a new song. We see a flash of a caption: “LG7: Gaga Returns.”

33. Is this a track on her next album (which would be her seventh, hence LG7)? The lyrics sounded something like “dance in the shadow.” I have so many questions! You can’t leave us on this cliffhanger, Gaga!

This article was originally published on Vogue.com

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