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Like every other warm-blooded mortal, I am anxiously awaiting Rihanna’s return to music—although I maintain that it should be on her own timeline!—so my heart leapt when I read on Wednesday that the Caribbean Queen would be releasing a new song called “Friend of Mine”…only to then return to Earth with the news that said song would be on the Smurfs movie soundtrack. (No shade to Smurf Village, but am I the only one who can’t help thinking of Seth Rogen’s character on The Studio trying desperately to make a live-action Kool-Aid movie when this particular franchise expansion is brought up?)
Rihanna’s new song will blessedly drop on Friday, May 16, months before the film is due out, and while I can’t wait to throw ass in the club (okay, dance for 10 minutes and be in bed by 11 pm) to a banger originally recorded for a film intended to suitably distract feral toddlers on a long Sunday afternoon, I can’t help wondering: why is all the good pop music confined to children’s films now? Okay, not all of it, but below, please find my power ranking of hit pop songs originally recorded for the soundtracks of kids’ movies. (There are more than you’d think!)
“Ooh La La,” Britney Spears, The Smurfs 2 (2021)
The use of Britney’s then-young sons in the video is adorable, but more importantly: the song goes. You don’t have to roll like a millionaire! Baby, I would go with you anywhere!
“Funkytown,” St. Vincent, Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)
This is an absolutely stacked soundtrack (Phoebe Bridgers! Kali Uchis! Diana Ross!), but a little St. Vincent-y synth goes a long way in making this particular hit danceable in a slightly terrifying way.
“They Don’t Know,” Ariana Grande, Trolls (2016)
Why catch up on Grande’s new music when you could just kick back and watch Trolls? Sidenote: Why is the background of the soundtrack rainbow? Are the Trolls LGBTQ+? Is this a Globby from The Other Two situation?
“Despicable Me,” Pharrell Williams, Despicable Me (2010)
Before Williams was co-chairing the 2025 Met Gala, he was laying down an absolute rap anthem for the film that started it all (if by “all” you mean “the culture’s obsession with Minions”). And this was years before the cultural phenomenon that was “Happy” from Despicable Me 2!
“Explode,” Charli XCX, The Angry Birds Movie (2016)
“Charli XCX recorded a song for The Angry Birds Movie” is a sentence that is found nowhere in the Bible, and yet…this is a song I can enjoy wholeheartedly without ever having seen the film from whence it springs. Just imagine how much kids must like it!
“Rainbow,” Sia, My Little Pony: The Movie (2017)
I don’t know who needed this as a theatrical experience (bronies, I guess?), but I definitely needed this Sia hit, so thank you, My Little Pony: The Movie.
Beyoncé, “Rise Up,” Epic (2013)
It’s Queen Bey! On the soundtrack of an animated film! If you’re going to be stuck babysitting for an interminable weekend (just kidding, friends with kids, I love your beautiful children), this is a more-than-decent soundtrack to do it to.
This article was originally published on Vogue.com.
